Lynn鄀熙的旅行

Sometimes I just want to go somewhere where nobody knows me.
I Want to Disappear

Be Forgotten, Disappear

I don't know how long it's been since I first had this thought "I want to disappear". All I know is that it doesn't let go of me anymore and that it comes back more and more often the more time passes by.

Everyday on the way to work I wish that there's some accident in which I die and the next moment I scold myself for that thought. But mostly only because others might get injured as well.  Sometimes I really don't want to continue living but then again, there are still things in my life that I like to do and that I don't really want to give up just yet. And then, I always think that there's no point in living like this if it's just for those meaningless things I have to do. But I wouldn't kill myself because of those thoughts. But the thought is always there in my mind, there's always one thing or another that keeps me from seriously trying to commit suicide.

And in the end, my train of thought leads me to the thought of just wanting to disappear. Erase my past and go somewhere where nobody knows me. I want everyone to forget about me, so that no one will miss me, and I want to walk a path that I have chosen for myself. I want to go somewhere else, leave this place of painful memories, meet new people, good or bad, and... I don't know.

I do think it'd be much better anywhere else or maybe not ...

Although I would still be who I am but I think things will be much better than what I am facing now. ..

The most prominent wish in my mind is to just disappear and be forgotten by everyone I know now.

If just that are possible...